A letter to customer service . . .

07 Dec

Dear God,

I’m addressing this letter to You seeing as you’re in charge. This is not a demand for replacement, but merely an informative discussion from my side. (Seeing as You know everything already, please humour me in voicing – as it were – my thoughts on this matter.)

I think that there’s been a little (read: big) problem with the requisition You’ve sent through concerning the hips I’ve been issued with (in this life). The childbearing hips. Of mine. Wide load. Saartjie Baardman hips. Mine. Wide.

In the plan that I’ve been issued with (for this life), childbearing hips are not needed. Since the Virginal Conception only happened once, I sincerely doubt that it’s going to happen to me. And since I’m not going to be with child in this life, normal hips would have been fine.

Yes, I’m extremely happy that they’re working. I’m happy that they’re moving and protecting and doing everything that they’re supposed to do. As I’ve said, this is not a demand for replacement.

This might be seen as a request that should I be reborn in female form in the afterlife, the requisition for my parts be amended to include normal size hips. (Unless of course, I’m to have 16 children (save my soul and theirs) in my next life. Then the childbearing hips would sure come in handy!

Thank You for reading. And maybe saving a little note on this in my file.


ButterNut (aka Saartjie)


Posted by on December 7, 2012 in Ramblings


2 responses to “A letter to customer service . . .

  1. Bileam se Donkie

    December 9, 2012 at 8:52 pm

    Response from Public Relations Department:

    Dear Saartjie Butternut-
    I love you just the way you are…


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